5 Ways To Make Your Life Better By Forgiving

Forgiveness is an important part of healing and moving forward in life. It helps us let go of anger, resentment, and hurt feelings, all of which release a flood of stress hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline. When we relive the incident that created the negative emotions, our body reacts to the memories as if the accident were happening for the first time. It may not be with the same intensity but the impact on our body, mind and spirit are repeated every time we think about whatever caused the "problem."

We replay the scene in slow motion, reliving the pain and suffering, and we get caught up in the emotion of the moment. Our bodies react to the memory as though it's happening for the first time, causing us to feel stressed, anxious, angry, sad, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, etc.

You'll feel happier.

Forgiveness will help you feel happier because it allows you to move past negative emotions. If you hold onto resentments, you won't be able to enjoy yourself because you're repeatedly punishing yourself for something that is already in the past.

Have you ever thought of it like that? Holding onto the anger or event is causing you fresh harm each time you think about or see the person who is the subject of your anger? Why not choose happiness? Forgive another for yourself!

You'll have more energy.

Holding grudges against people who hurt us makes us miserable. It drains our energy and prevents us from enjoying ourselves. We become angry and frustrated when we think about what happened to us. This leads to stress, anxiety, and other emotional issues.

As mentioned above, you are releasing powerful chemicals and hormones that can have multiple negative impacts on your long term physical, mental and emotional health. These are the "fight or flight" hormones that are in our bodies to protect us from danger and an event that is past but we're still holding on to is no longer dangerous.

When you release grudges, your bodily system has more energy because it's not being wasted on feeding and dealing with negative emotions.

You'll become more patient.

If you hold onto anger, resentment, and bitterness toward another person, you will not only feel bad yourself, but you will also affect the relationship with that person. You will lose respect for them and they will lose respect for you.

When you make forgiveness and compassion a regular part of your day and self, you will begin to see things much differently. Things that used to bother you and set you into a frenzy of anger or frustration pass by with no impact on you at all.

You'll get rid of guilt.

There's nothing more painful than feeling guilty about something you did or didn't do. It makes us feel terrible because we think we've done something wrong. We're afraid that people will judge us negatively. And we worry that we won't be able to forgive ourselves.

A cycle of often negative and painful thoughts occupies our minds, often sending us into a spiral of sadness, guilt and general unhappiness. These thoughts also release chemicals and hormones that impact our physical health.

When you forgive, you often will feel a great sense of relief, as if a heavy weight has been lifted from your heart and soul. In many ways, that's what has happened.

You'll learn how to forgive yourself.

If you find yourself struggling with guilt, you might need to forgive yourself. Guilt is an emotion that comes from our thoughts and beliefs. So when we believe that we've done something wrong, we feel bad about it. This leads to guilt.

A tendency to not forgive others is evidence of lacking self-forgiveness and an opportunity for some self-exploration to uncover the reasons, which often is very liberating.

Both ancient and modern spiritual texts speek of the importance of forgiveness. The Christian Lord's Prayer reminds us to forgive our our own trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

A Course in Miracles teaches "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness."

The Dalai Lama believes and teaches that forgiveness heals both those who forgive and those who are forgiven. He says, "Compassion, forgiveness, these are the real, ultimate sources of power for peace and success in life."

It's not just spiritual teachers and leaders who speak of the benefits of self-forgiveness...

Behavioural Research Data Shows
Benefits of Self-Forgiveness

"Research has shown that those who practice self-forgiveness have better mental and emotional well-being, more positive attitudes and healthier relationships. A related outcome ties self-compassion with higher levels of success, productivity, focus and concentration.

Self-forgiving people recognize that a lack of self-forgiveness leads to suffering. They are kind to themselves, which reduces their anxiety and related depression.

In comparison, those who are highly critical of themselves are more likely to experience significant negativity, stress and pessimism."(Katie Shumake, July 2019, BeWell News Stanford.Edu)

Learning to forgive yourself and others does take practice. It's a skill you can develop that delivers many positive short and long-run returns. You will feel better, more relaxed and happy. The physical, mental and emotional benefits are tremendous and long-lasting. You will notice that your life seems better and that more things are going your way. You will also notice that you will be grateful for more of things in your daily life. Now is the best time to begin.

PS - In the video above, I share the story of what happened when I forgave my father on his deathbed. It's an amazing story!